"So why do they do it? I could offer a million answers, all probable. The truth is they are just bad people, and that's not going to change, Of course they say they have changed. That we have seen the last of uncaring conservatism; but the only cleaning up they do is financial and personal before moving the money on to an overseas bank, going straight? and choosing life? Only at someone elses expense. DAVE's enjoying it already. He says he wants to be just like you; the job, the family, the f*cking big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electrical tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortage, starter home, leisurewear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine-to-five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing the gutters, getting by, looking ahead, until the day you die." But he, BORIS and GEORGE just can't pull it off. Is it a class thing? You bet your b*llocks it is.
Not smart, not funny, sickly and sometimes just plain unconscious, DAVE is a true blue rinse hero of our times. Set in an underbelly of West London the city fathers always dreamed of, TORYSPOTTING is the story of DAVE and his so-called friends - a bunch of losers, liars, psychos, tax dodgers and flunkies. Hilarious but harrowing, the film charts the disintegration of their friendship as they proceed, seemingly inevitably, towards the self destruction of themselves and the whole f*cking country. DAVE alone says he has the insight and opportunity to escape his fate and be just like you and me but then again, does he really want to "choose life as we know it"?
If so he should choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of f*cking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows with Ant and Dec whilst stuffing f*cking junk food into your mouth. Choose losing your job because someone has to pay off the deficit created by your mates at the bank. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last, in a miserable care home that can't even afford to feed you after they have taken their profit out of the reduced monies coming from a Tory Council, until your nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, screwed-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose the Tories.
