SECOND PLACE AGAIN FOR NBC - (But this time there were two runners not one!)

Northampton Borough Councils "Silver Medal" in this years East Midlands In Bloom contest sounds rather an accomplishment until you discover they actually came second to Mansfield, a town half the size of Northampton and then the achievement loses more shine when you discover that these two were the only two cities that entered!

 

But it was however, arguably an improvement on last years floral efforts when our cash strapped Council once again finished second (another Silver Medal) but then having the shame of only coming second in a one horse race, Northampton being the one and only sole entrant as a Small City!

 

Buts that Britain In Bloom for you, its the municipal equivalent of the ducks at the fun fair where every ones a winner, and if you cant hook your duck well no problem have a prize anyway!

 

So keen are the East Midlands in Bloom organisers to take your entrance fee and pin a medal on your chest as a "winner" at this annual flower fest that they will it seems make up a category for whatever suits you or even break all the rules to ensure you don't go home empty handed without your press release worthy medal. 

 

This year there were no less twenty three categories to choose from Small Village - Village - Large Village, Small Town - Town - Large Town, Small City - City - Large City, Coastal resort, the list is endless and covers every hamlet and multi sized conurbation imaginable, my favourite being the Urban Community category which I guess you enter if you don't like the look of any of the competition elsewhere?

 

But shock horror, I take no pleasure in exposing to the world that our council are in fact plant inducing, muck spreading, dirty rotten cheats and scoundrels, cads of the flower showing world. Not since Joe Grundy injected his giant marrow with steroids to win the Ambridge Marrowfest have we witnessed such skulduggery!

 

You see the population of Northampton is officially as per the 2011 census 212,100, and yet the "City" category to which we entered has a limited entry range of 100,001 to 200,000 with the Large city category which would include cities like Derby, Nottingham and Leicester and having a range of 200,001 or more the contest for us!

 

But cheats never prosper and I for one am delighted to see that we were beat by a smaller city which it seems were also being slightly cheated by EMIB but this time at the other end of the size spectrum. Mansfield (population 2011 - 99,600) had to punch well above their seed weight to beat off our local council . Loughborough then as a result won the Small City category albeit thanks to Mansfield's enforced promotion and the large city category in which Northampton should have been entered was won by Nottingham, as the only entrant!

 

But does any of the above really matter? after all its just a few flowers in baskets isn't it? Well yes, but it does matter because  it is a misrepresentation and fraud not just against the other entrants but against the Council Tax paying public of Northampton. It's no good NBC waving around its shiny silver medal to the world and showing off its flower baskets in Abington Street whist at the same time uncut grass levels on some of our estates is often higher than the cover in the amazon rain forest, not much use to our park based footballers who have to dribble around the dog dirt on the local pitches let alone try and find a white line to determine where their pitch ends, no comfort to those walking the streets who are forced out off the pavement and onto the road by hedges larger than some leylandii just so the Guildhall steps look a pretty picture.

 

This whole competition has it seems become a farce, an orgy of self congratulation and deception at a time of municipal floral shame due to years of cut backs and privatised services. 

 

But never mind at least the Cllrs from across the region get the opportunity to go to go to Skegness for the day to pick up their medals and awards and the category winners can all then pop off to the national "Britain in Bloom" finals! Last year for NBC and their category winning Silver medal that meant an opportunity for weekend on the Island of Guernsey!

 

If only they could have won this year! it would have made my day, the finals weekend is in Cleethorpes.