So heinous is the crime that we have committed that both of us are at this very moment considering our respective positions.
John, is concerned as to whether or not he will ever be able to show his face again in St Peter's Church where as the only atheist church warden in Britain he ably assists in the organising of small arts programmes for the masses.
I, likewise feel it only fair to inform my fellow members of the Woody Guthrie appreciation Society that I may have to relinquish my membership to save them any future embarrassment.
My foes will no doubt take great delight in hearing that last week I was asked to present myself at Campbell Square Police Station, where in the hands of two of the constabulary's finest Senior Fraud Detective Officers I was questioned for an hour and 15 minutes and then duly processed, photographed and fingerprinted ready for Justice to have its wicked way with me.
Thankfully, I was then released, a free man once again, to now await the decision of the Crown Prosecution Service in York who will no doubt ponder over the severity of my offence and whether or not the public will be best served by a trial and a possible financial punishment or our incarceration.
So what was our crime? what evil acts did myself and JD inflict on the good people of Castle Ward.
"WE FORGOT TO PUT AN IMPRINT ON A LETTER SENT OUT IN THE COUNTY COUNCIL ELECTIONS"
There, I have said it, admitted my guilt. For those who think I have gone mad, or that the police have equally lost their marbles, I will explain all. I was cautioned under section 110 of the Representation of the People Act, which makes it an offence to send out unsolicited mail during an election which may seek to hide the identity of the sender and/or defame another candidate.
All of our leaflets (bar this one) carried the imprint:
'Printed by NIV Press 30 Ethel Street, Northampton and Published/Promoted by John Dickie, 2 Western View, Northampton'
The offending leaflet (which was in fact a letter) was sent to 1200 postal voters within the ward asking them for their support, it carried my name, home address, phone number, email, website, and a photo and my personal signature (we were hardly trying to hide my identity) and it did not mention the other candidates. Our other five items of election material were all properly imprinted, and on this occasion there was simply an error of omission on our part, with clearly no ulterior motive or intent.
So surely the Returning Officer, the Police and the Crown Prosecution Service are all wasting time and your money chasing myself and John around the town and preparing us for our possible time in pokey?
Not so. You see they had no choice, once a complaint had been made and an offence reported they were duty bound to follow it up.
Last Year in the 2008 elections across the UK 26 such offences were processed. 25 resulted in no further action and the one that proceeded to court was part of a much broader breach of the act where offence had been caused to other candidates.
So step forward those brave souls and vigilantes responsible for bringing us to book, or if you prefer step forward those responsible for wasting Police and CPS time and money on frivolous complaints. We give praise to ..........
THE LABOUR PARTY
We know not whether the brave soldiers who grassed us up were from the Regional or Local Party, neither can we guess what their motive was? or what they hoped to gain from their endevour? but we are sure that you are feeling a lot safer in your beds in the knowledge that the peoples party is still willing to be tough on the criminal classes and ready and willing to pounce on the guilty.
In the meantime if I disappear from the blog scene for a while or you hear that I have gone on an unexpected enforced holiday can someone please set up a campaign to:
"FREE THE CASTLE WARD TWO"
As keeping myself and John in Pokey for a month or two will cost the taxpayer a fortune.