For those of you out there truly snowed in and housebound this week I send to you my deepest and most sincere condolences and best wishes, but for the majority of you workshy and apologist shirkers and weather wimps I say shame on you, get a grip of yourselves and show some mettle.
After just 2 days of scattered snow showers the whole country it seems, has ground to a complete standstill and "snow days" are added to "duvet days" as reasons not to be industrious or even mildly or gently active.
Having rescued my car this morning from County Hall Car Park (they locked me in last night whilst I was at a Borough Council meeting across the road) I got to work to find that most people hadn't.
Likewise those teaching staff who managed to get into their respective schools had to turn around and go home due to the fact that the absent staff outnumbered those who were present, meaning that schools still closed because they were unable to provide for their charges and as a result another extra day was added to the Christmas holiday.
Now don't get my wrong, I am not suggesting that similar things haven't happened in the past or that their are never any legitimate occasions when bad weather really should stop play, but I simply feel that this week we have stretched the envelope far to far, and need to take a long and hard look at ourselves as individuals and as a nation and admit that our own non attendance for work has more to do with our own psychological and escapist desire to find some respite from the rat race, than it ever has to do with any physical ability to face the elements. If we want to remind ourselves of a real severe winter then think back to 1963 (see picture) when we really did have something to moan about
And the winter madness doesn't stop simply at our attitude to attending the workplace either, we manage to stretch it far far further than that. You see the very same people who couldn't dig their car out of the snow this morning or get it safely down the local hill, were still able to miraculously do exactly that in order to get to the local supermarket to panic buy and stock up the cupboards for the impending frozen Armageddon we all face.
My local newspaper The Northampton Chronicle and Echo (delivered to our workplace by a man in a van with no real hardship) runs a story today headlined "PANIC BUYING IN BIG FREEZE" wherein local supermarkets are falling over themselves to tell the media that their stores are packed out with people stocking up on hitherto unneeded provisions.
One of the comments came from a "David Bailey, weather analyst for Sainsbury's" WEATHER ANALYST !! for f*cks sake, Since when did supermarkets employ weather analyists? Mr Bailey tells us that "shoppers were stocking up on tinned foods and winter essentials. He said: "We know shoppers' buying habits change according to the weather. A temperature change of three degrees from the seasonal average can result in sales of some products going up by as much as 50 per cent."
Tesco's tell us there is a run on soup and Asda are shifting large quantities of wellington boots, puddings and take away food. All being purchased by the very same people whose cars are still stuck in the snow back home! .
Now call me a cynical old sod if you wish but I can't help but think that the supermarket chains might just have a vested interest in telling us that people are crowding into their stores to panic buy in order to encourage us all to er... go out and panic buy.
Meanwhile back at the football club we are trying to decide whether or not Saturdays home game will beat the weather? My view? Well we can clear the snow off the pitch as long as it doesn't get too deep (or clear the lines and play on the snow with an orange ball as we used to) and with a massive effort we could also clear the surrounding steps ramps and roads, but the real question is if we do, will anyone then have the courage to venture out to see the game? You can't panic buy League Two football (although panic has been a feature of our defensive play this season up until our recent welcome return to some form) So we are left with the dilemma of either spending a lot of money to get a game on which a lot of people won't bother coming to or giving in to the general mood?
You see as a nation we can't judge anything for ourselves anymore, we need others (especially the radio TV and printed media) to set the mood and set the trend for us, if by Friday the media are still telling us all "Don't travel unless you really have to" and that "This current cold spell will probably go on until March" and that it is the "Coldest month on record since our records began" (probably last year) then the football clubs staff are probably better off staying at home on Saturday as well and have a "public couldn't be ars*d to turn up day"
So get a grip Britain, after all, in just six months time it will a question of "Phew what a Scorcher, Millions head to the coast as nation sizzles and main roads melt"
And heres a toast to all dedicated public servants (especially the gritting lorry crews who always manage to get to work!) who laugh warmly in the face of Sidney snow and wear their true Brit grit hearts proudly on their sleeves.
(This blog posting was brought to you via a cancelled meeting in the dairy due to inclement weather)
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